From childhood we hear that adulthood has its sequence and rhythm. First school, then university, then a “good job,” a relationship, marriage, an apartment (preferably owned, with a mortgage), and finally children.
It’s an unwritten list that follows us through life – as if it were the only script that guarantees happiness and fulfillment.
But is that really the case?
Life According to the “Checklist”
Checklists are convenient. They’re structured. They give a sense of control – because if we manage to tick off the next points, we have proof that we’re moving in the right direction.
The problem is that in reality, many people treat this list as an obligation rather than a choice.
We start to see ourselves through the lens of what we still “lack”:
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I don’t have an apartment – that must mean I don’t measure up.
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I haven’t started a family – maybe something’s wrong with me.
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I didn’t build a career at the “right” age – I must have wasted my time.
And that’s how the pressure of comparison is born.
Career – Another Box to Tick or a Real Path?
On social media, we often see the checklist in the context of careers: promotion by a certain age, a job at a prestigious company, a specific level of income.
And again – there’s nothing wrong with striving for success. The problem begins when we define success only through the lens of external expectations.
Some people find fulfillment in building an impressive corporate career. Others – in starting their own businesses, project-based work, or even combining professional activity with a completely different lifestyle.
The real question is: is the path you’re on truly yours?
Different Paths, Different Definitions of Happiness
In my work, I meet people who, on paper, have already ticked most of the boxes – yet they feel empty. They’re missing a sense of purpose, joy, the feeling that it’s their life rather than a script written by someone else.
At the same time, I also know people who have consciously rejected parts of the checklist and found happiness on their own terms – through travel, passions, freedom, or building unconventional career paths.
This shows one thing: happiness doesn’t have a single definition.
The Courage to Write Your Own List
Perhaps true adulthood isn’t about ticking all the boxes on the traditional list.
Maybe adulthood begins when we can consciously write our own checklist.
One that contains what truly makes us happy:
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for some, that will be professional growth and achievements,
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for others, stability and family,
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and for others still – freedom, independence, and the ability to follow their own path.
There’s no single “correct” version. And that’s exactly what makes it so difficult – because it’s much easier to follow a script than to define for ourselves what really matters.
So I’d like to end this text with a question:
Is your current “happiness checklist” truly your own – or one inherited from the expectations of others? And if you were to create your list from scratch – what would be on it, including when it comes to your career?