There are days when life seems to unfold without us. The world moves faster, decisions make themselves, and we’re left just reacting. Fatigue sets in, resignation sometimes follows. In those moments, one quiet question is worth asking:
Where am I in all this?
Because true agency isn’t about constant doing. It’s not the loud voice of control. It’s the quiet whisper of knowing you have influence—and the courage to use it.
What is agency?
It’s more than making choices. Agency is the sense that what I do matters. That my “yes” and my “no” have weight. That how I live a moment is not solely dictated by circumstance—but also by how I choose to meet it.
You can’t always change what happens. But you can always choose your response. Sometimes gently. Sometimes boldly. Always—yours.
When does agency grow quiet?
It quiets when we spend too long living for others.
When we follow other people’s plans, meet their needs, carry their beliefs.
It quiets when we silence our emotions—just to keep the peace.
When we let others decide how we spend our time, energy, and boundaries.
It quiets… but it never disappears.
How to rediscover your agency
- Pause
You can’t find yourself in motion. Agency speaks in stillness. In the space where you ask, “What do I truly want?”
- Notice what’s within your reach
Not everything. But always something. Sometimes it’s your breath. The choice to rest. Or to say “no.”
- Come back to yourself
To your values, your rhythm, your truth. Agency doesn’t live in others’ expectations. It lives in you.
- Trust yourself, gently
You don’t need the whole plan. Sometimes one honest step is enough. Then another.
Coaching and agency
Coaching isn’t about giving people answers.
It’s about guiding them back to themselves. To that space where they begin to see they can—they have a choice.
And when a client reconnects with their agency, something shifts. Quietly. But deeply.
Agency doesn’t always look like action. Sometimes it’s the calm decision not to act against yourself.
It’s not about always doing more.
It’s about doing what is truly yours.
So today, ask yourself softly:
“What, in this moment, is mine to choose?”